I am sitting in my bedroom at 6:11pm on a Sunday evening in August. I am 31 years old, and in a couple of weeks I will have a birthday I am not really looking forward to celebrating. I spend very little time pondering how I got where I am because if I think on it too deeply it can get really depressing. I wonder about my future and if it will resemble in any way a life I ever envisioned for myself when I was young.